Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day

I'm working on this post trying to share my struggles of parenting and Blogger is not cooperating!  My pictures won't align, my text is going awry, and my words aren't coming easily. Oh, the irony!


My dearest children,

        There is no greater gift in life than being a parent.  It is a job that comes with a tall order of raising children into adults that have good character and are blessings in this world.  It's a responsibility that I don't take lightly; I read, learn from others, listen, and genuinely try to be the best mother I can.  I'm not sure what you'll remember of this time in your childhood.  My hope is that you only recount the smiles and hugs, but I'm not that naive.  As with my childhood, it is when you see your parents' vulnerability and imperfections that memories are seared.  As it was with me, you probably won't make sense or understand the emotions until you, yourself, become a parent.  The greatest challenges yield the greatest rewards.  And, right now, it is challenging having our family spread apart. I know it's not intentional when you spill your drink (for the third time during dinner) or behave as you always have, rough housing with each other.  The only difference now is me and my ability to handle all of these things at once.  When you cry and carry on with, "he's looking at me, tell him to stop looking at me!" and I've just gotten off the phone finding out there is no imminent closing date on the house in South Carolina, I'm not as tolerant as I should be. We are incomplete without your dad and our actions are showing it.  Gavin, I'll forgive you for carelessly pulling my computer and coffee off the table causing it to crash to the floor if you forgive me telling you I didn't have enough room in my lap for you to snuggle while I was feeding Cannon.  And, Harrison, when I told you that helping with your homework was a beating, I'm sorry about that, it wasn't nice for me to say.  But, I say we're even after you told me you hated me.  I know we both didn't mean it, we're not at our best right now.  Oh, and my baby, Cannon, I feel terrible when you're crying and I'm helping your brothers do something and can't swoop you up and stop the tears.  I hope you don't end up with abandonment issues like the Russian orphans. Although we're having our fair share of 'terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days' let's take the good with the bad and try to roll with it a little easier. 

                                                                                        I Love you beyond words,
                                                                                                          Mom

P.S. If one day you end up in therapy make sure to throw around your dads name, too.  I'm not going down alone.

I check on you and give you kisses before I go to sleep and then I say my nightly prayer Lord, grant me the serenity to Accept my children as they are; Courage not to scream uncontrollably; And the wisdom to know how to fix and replace things. Living one moment at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting broken furniture as a test; Taking, as other parents before me, this crazy environment As it is, and not how I dream it; Trusting that somehow things will be okay If I surrender to parenthood; That I may enjoy the good times. And be supremely happy when the day comes to an end and I say 'I did my best today.' Amen.