Cannon, 1 Month Old

It's been a month my sweet Cannon Ball since you joined our family.  You weigh 10 pounds and are 21 1/2 inches long.  You are not giving me much sleep at night getting up every 1 1/2-2 hours to nurse. I think some of this may be due to reflux you seem to have developed.  Dr. J started you on Zantac so hopefully this next month will bring less pain and discomfort for you and more sleep for me!  You're growing stronger by the day and learning how to hold up your wobbly noggin.  When on your tummy you can push and kick until you end up on your back.  You're so close to smiling, your lips are curling like you wanna do, like you're gonna do it any second! 

This is how you've been spending most of this past month...

Lately, we've been seeing a lot more of these deep baby blues.  When awake you are inundated with stimulation from your brothers.  They are always bringing you new toys to look at, touch, and play with.  You don't appreciate this as much as you will in months to come.  I love the peacefulness of evenings and early mornings when it's just you and me and we stare at each other. 

After about three minutes of stimulation and less-than-gentle maneuvering from your brothers, we tend to see this face.  This is my sign that I need to swoop in and snuggle you.  

 

After some snuggle time and nursing we usually see this adorable face.  

Getting sleepy and in need of some rest.  

Off to sleepytown you go.  

This continues to be how you spend most of your time.  

So peaceful and beautiful while you sleep.

Those little piggy's are too cute!  They get about a thousand kisses a day from me. 

Questions....

Perhaps it's because I haven't slept more than two hours at a time in over a month, but, lately, Harrison's questioning of everything is leaving me with a short fuse.  I feel bad because he can see it in my face when I'm over the interrogation and he quickly says, "sorry, mom, sorry."

To be honest, not only is it the constant questions, sometimes it's that I don't know the answers.  Here's an example conversation from last night, we went to TCBY to get frozen yogurt, we had just finished roller skating so I wanted the boys to wash their hands before they ate.  Let's face it, have you ever been to a clean roller skating rink?  I think musty smells and stained wall carpeting go hand-in-hand with those joints. I digress.

We're washing our hands in the sink and I tell Harrison he needs to scrub his hands for a little bit with the soap and then rinse under the water.  Thus, the line of questioning begins...

Harrison: "Why do I need to scrub my hands and then rinse?"

Me: "Because scrubbing with the soap is what kills the germs."

Harrison: "What germs are on my hands?"

Me: "I don't know, but judging from where we just came from you have a lot of them."

Harrison: "And germs can make make me sick?"

Me: "Yep."


Harrison: "How do they make me sick?" "How do they get into my body?" "Do the germs have names?" "What do they look like?" "How does the soap kill the germs?" "What happens if they get into my body?" "How will I get rid of them?" "Will I have to go see Dr. Jones?" "Will I have to get a shot?" "What about the hospital, will I have to go there, too?" 

Me: "Aaahhh! Can we just finish up and talk about what flavor frozen yogurt you want??"

Harrison: "Sorry, mom, sorry."

Cue the 'mom guilt' because I feel terrible every time I lose it with his spitfire questioning.  I tell myself I should be thankful I have such an inquisitive child.  And, I am thankful.   It's just sooo many questions and every answer brings about more questions.  Harrison is very ready to start Kindergarten. I hope his thirst for knowledge follows him throughout the years, and I hope he has a very patient and smart teacher!

Made With Love

We were given so many gifts for our new little bundle of joy. The amount of handmade and personal gifts really touched me. I had to do a post about them so Cannon can see one day how special he is to so many people.   

My best pal, Nancy, knit this beautiful blanket. It is filled with texture and colors, even I can't help but snuggle with it!  If Cannon is anything like his brothers this blanket will bring him years of comfort. 

Who knew a burp cloth could be this cute?  Dotty and Nancy made sure Cannon would be spitting up in style.

Dr. Sward, a neonatologist I work with, lovingly knit this sweater for my sweet boy.  I can't wait for the weather to cool down so he can be stylin' and profilin' around town. 

 Dixie couldn't have picked a more appropriate theme blanket when she handmade  The Very Hungry Caterpillar quilt.  My boys love, love, love this book.  Having nearly every page memorized we turn the pages just for kicks.  The quilt is beautiful and so colorful, I know Cannon will love it as he grows just like that little, hungry caterpillar.  

 My friend, Kristi, gave me my three peas in a pod necklace.  Gavin loves to crawl in my lap and tell me which pea represents what child.  He says he likes being the middle pea.

 I love that Katie thought to give me this, what a cool way to watch Cannon grow!  Each month I'll put a sticker on a onesie and take Cannon's picture.  It will be so exciting to see the year in review. 

How Does It Feel?

So exactly how does it feel to be a mother of three?  That seems to be the question many are asking me.  As with most life-changing experiences it's not just one emotion that I feel.  It's more like a rainbow of feelings, the feelings are often blended into one another and seem to teeter back and forth multiple times a day.

Red- Red is considered an intense, or even angry, color that creates feelings of excitement or intensity. An easily-explained postpartum color emotion; frustration or anger.  Harrison and Gavin are getting the brunt of this emotion lately.  The brotherly bickering and picking at one another is relentless, especially since we've been spending an ungodly amount of time at home.  I feel like an umpire in a game that's in triple overtime. My mommy guilt kicks in about 10:30 every night when I reflect on the day and feel I've said more words of discipline than words of encouragement.  I know hope this gets better.  It has to, right?  I don't want my kids to remember me only as mean mommy. It doesn't help that Steve (trying only to be helpful and give me a break) comes home and takes the older boys to go do something fun.  It furthers the divide making me ultra lame and mean.

Orange- Orange calls to mind feelings of excitement, enthusiasm, and warmth. I actually feel orange a lot.  I'm excited about what the future holds.  I feel kinda like I'm on the sidelines warming up waiting for the game of my life to start.  I hope I don't choke, will cover the spread, and come out the MVP of momma's. 

Yellow- Yellow is a bright color that is often described as cheery and warm.  I'll be honest, yellow is probably the emotion I feel the least. I guess I feel physically warm having three kids in my lap most of the day.  To me, cheery denotes a well-rested body that's full of energy--definitely not me at this time.  I do hope in the near future to feel more yellow.  

Green- Green represents tranquility, good luck, health, and jealousy. I feel immensely fortunate to have had three c-sections and come out relatively unscathed.  I started the day on June 23 with two requests from the Big Guy; let my baby be healthy and let me live. I'm about two weeks from delivery day and I feel a million miles away from where I was struggling to stand and walk.  I'm getting stronger and healthier everyday. Oh, and if I have to be honest, I suppose am jealous of those Heidi Klum's out there who walk the runway three weeks after giving birth. It's an emotional struggle finding clothes to fit in this awkward in-between stage. 

Blue- Blue calls to mind feelings of calmness, serenity, sadness or aloofness. Those baby blues have a way of catching up with me no matter how hard I try to escape them.  I think I've handled most everything of the past two weeks with relative ease, minus a small breakdown here and there (like coming home from the hospital and being in shock when the scale only showed a two pound weight loss! Two pounds?!  I birthed almost an eight pound baby!).  Steve has kindly shared with me, and anyone else who will listen, that I've been the most emotional with this pregnancy and delivery.  Look, it's hard having a baby, okay?  It's not easy having your emotions out of whack, your body looking grossly disfigured, and a newborn baby that needs your constant attention.  Add on top of that two other kids with lots of family and friends--even the strongest woman is bound to crack a little. 

Indigo- Indigo represents religion, spirituality and intuition. Being a mother to a newborn, toddler, and growing child requires me to hone in on all three of these.  The deep spirituality felt when holding your newborn is second to none. In addition to my three, I have witnessed hundreds of babies being born, and every time I feel the presence of God.  Religion helps me answer the really tough questions my little ones ask, like, "What happens when you die?" and intuition let's me know when it's best just to distract and deflect and save those tough answers for when they're older. 
 
Violet-  Violet represents the harmony of the universe because it is a combination of red and blue.  There is a true harmony that I feel looking at the wholeness of what my family is now.  Three children is always what I wanted, what I hoped for.  There is a peacefulness Steve and I both share looking at our three boys. We are content, happy, and in no rush for the next thing to happen.

Another Addition?

For the nine months I was pregnant Gavin said he was pregnant, too.  Whenever my baby kicked, also did Gavin's.  So, it would only be fitting that when Cannon was born, Gavin's baby leopard was born, too.  This is a stuffed animal he's had for a couple years, it wasn't until recently that leopard became a very helpless baby. 

All of a sudden leopard needs a diaper, because, like his little brother, Cannon, leopard doesn't know how to 'hold it' until he gets to the potty. I indulge this a little, but I draw the line when Gavin says leopard needs to be changed as often as Cannon.  Leopard is a one diaper kinda animal. 

Leopard needs to be soothed in the swing just like Cannon.  Gavin is very protective of his baby and even thinks Cannon should get kicked out of his swing if his leopard is upset and needs soothing. 

Cannon even kindly shares his wardrobe with leopard. 

Oh, this is the best part!  Gavin uses a toy screwdriver to, um, 'get the milk' from his boobies.  He even makes sound effects that sound kinda like soda coming from a soda fountain.  This is the funniest and yet strangest part of him caring for his baby.  I would assume that he's going to feed his leopard the way he sees me feeding Cannon, but this isn't how I feed Cannon.  I'm breastfeeding, not pumping or bottle feeding.  But, who am I to judge with the way a mother provides for her baby??

The screwdriver is then full of milk and given to leopard....on the nursing pillow, no less. 

I don't know how long baby leopard will be sticking around, although, he seems like a pretty good baby.  He sleeps through the night, never poops up his backside or pees on the front of his shirt, is okay being ignored for hours and hours, and is always where you left him.