I was at Target one afternoon with all three kids. I make these trips sparingly and caringly because it is an undertaking going out with the kids alone. We usually go over the 'rules of public engagement' before even exiting the car. You know, the usual rules, the ones that keep my kids from looking completely feral without any 'home training' ..."No screaming, biting, hitting, etc."
With the rules well established we exited the car and ventured into the public.
The trip started off okay with just the occasional side-eye look from me letting them know they needed to straighten up. But, somewhere around aisle seventeen, between home goods and baby stuff, things started going awry. Gavin started having diarrhea of the mouth where he lets loose a string of words that he knows are offensive. Like,
"poopy-diarrhea-stinky-butt!" This was like playing poker with Harrison and he felt it was his turn to ante up. He replied with such offenses as,
"fart-mouth-poopy-pants-doo-doo-butt!"
It seemed like the more I tried to stop it the worse it became. A woman passing by even commented on the words coming out of my kids mouth! Ugh! The embarrassment was too much. The majority of the time I'm cool, calm, and collected, but sometimes a Momma's gotta snap. If it weren't for knowing that there were camera's on me in the Target parking lot it would have been one of those moments!
The next day, when I'm much calmer, I'm talking to Harrison and Gavin sharing with them my frustration with the Target incident. So, I asked them,
"what would you do if you were me and you were the grown-up and your sons were acting crazy in the store?" I was completely surprised by their answers because they immediately started listing a slew of punishments they would give to their children. And, frankly, far worse punishments then we've ever given them. They had no idea what wheels were turning in my head as they continued to list punishment after punishment, but I started writing them down, cutting them into strips of paper, and placing them into a jar.
It was then that
Punishment Jar was born. A jar filled with various consequences ranging from things like, 'twenty jumping jacks', 'sweep the kitchen floor', 'one hour in your room', 'no video games for a week', or even a few of 'make better choices next time.' Oh, how I wish I had thought of this years ago! It allows me to not have to think of a consequence when I'm mad and in the heat of the situation and it gives me the opportunity to truly sympathize with my kids when they draw a punishment that really hurts.
After the jar was born the kids learned how and when it would be utilized. Then, it was just a matter of waiting until it was needed. Let's be real....we didn't have to wait long. I think it was Gavin who had to draw first, probably due to another 'diarrhea' comment. He took his punishment like a man. The harder one was Harrison who ended up drawing 'no desserts for ten days'...two days before Grammy's birthday! To know Harrison is to know how much he loves sweets and desserts. I have to admit, I almost caved and let him have a piece of Grammy's birthday cake. But, part of the new 'jar rules' was there would be no trading, weaning, or deviating from the drawn punishment. Harrison's punishment stayed and everyone else had cake except him.
The jar has been in our family now for a few months. It's been a welcomed addition that I highly recommend all parents create for their children. Here's a little looksey at what the process looks like:
The jar is given to the accused and sentenced child.
**This is not a reenactment. Harrison was having to draw from the jar for being argumentative and kicking his brother.**
There aren't normally smiles during the process, but there is ALWAYS the other brother lurking around the corner to see what the punishment is going to be! Can you find Gavin??
Initially Harrison was pleased he didn't draw 'no video games', ...until I told him he would be cleaning the toy room after school when he normally plays on the PlayStation.
