I know it may be a little premature to say what I think my children will grow up to become. However, if Harrison doesn't go into a field of negotiating/defense I think he could miss his mark. He is relentless (as I know many kids can be) when he wants something or is trying to defend his actions. Although there is plenty of whining with Harrison, he also throws in these arguments that sometimes make rebuttals a little challenging. Here's what I mean....
Harrison has been playing on a soccer team for about six weeks. He loves playing, well, almost always loves playing--except for one particular morning.
We pulled into the field and Harrison didn't want to get out of the car, didn't want to line up with his teammates, and, most importantly, didn't want to play. He was a forty pound sack of potatoes.
Steve tried to talk with him, I tried to talk with him, even his coach was unsuccessful. We embarrassingly packed up our family and returned home.
Harrison spent the morning and most of the afternoon in his room. Steve allowed him out for a thirty minute lunch. Solitary confinement to think about his poor choices, Steve thought, was the best discipline.
In the afternoon, while I was still sleeping, Steve talked with Harrison about the unfortunate events of the morning. Harrison completely caught Steve off guard with his defense by hanging his head in sorrow and saying,
"I'm sorry, Dad. Sometimes I make bad choices. God made me this way. But, I'm going to try really, really hard to make good choices from now on."
I asked Steve how he responded to Harrison's defense. Steve said,
"Gretch, I'm not good at that kinda stuff. A huge lump came into my throat, I didn't know what to say. But, I really think he was sincere." He said,
"I just hugged him."
I told Steve he had just gone to court with a five year-old and the child had swept the floor with him! In the case of Bergman vs. Bergman....little Bergman won.
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Case-n-point two:
Instead of owning that it was Harrison's fault he clumsily hit his head on the kitchen counter while playing on the bar stools, he stood up crying and said to me,
"Ugh, this house is too dangerous for kids! Look at what that counter did to me! And, look at the fireplace, it has stones that could hurt kids. This house isn't safe for kids! We need to move to a safer house!"
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Case-n-point three:
Harrison comes into the living room and asks Steve,
"Dad, are all the people in the houses around here nice to their kids?" "Ya, I think so." Steve replied. Harrison quipped,
"Well, I think you need to be more like these people around us and be nice to your kids. You're not making a good choice when you're not nice to us." Is this not an example of totally being judged by a group of your peers?! Steve asks Harrison what it is he does that makes him mean. Harrison told him it wasn't nice that he only played one round of Plants Vs. Zombie's video game and he was sure the other people around us would play more with their kids.
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Case-n-point four:
Our last trip to the zoo ended horribly with Harrison having a meltdown because I didn't have fifty cents to get food to feed the fish. He bellowed and threw his arms up until I couldn't take it anymore and put him on a bench in time-out. Through my gritted teeth that only a mother could possess, I told him he was embarrassing me in front of all the people with his behavior. He quickly responded,
"Why does it matter what these people think? You don't know them. You're never going to see them again."
